expiration date 

i’ve been crying so much today. more than i can remember.

koda and i went to the vet today, originally to check up on the tick situation that’s been getting out hand. she’s been been having a few bald and bloody spots lately, most likely because she’s been biting and scratching the ticks along with her skin and fur.

while we were at it, i casually mentioned to the doctor that there was another bald spot on the other side of the rib, but this one had been perpetually bald since earlier this year. koda has been chewing on it once in a while because there is a small pimple-like thing, and these kind of irregularities triggers koda’s chewing impulses. thus, another bald spot.

so the vet checked the pimple thing out and suggest to do a simple test where she used the needle to take a sample from the inside of the pimple, and put it under a microscope.

the doctor was in the back of the office for a while, but i didn’t get concerned until she took another doctor out to take a look at koda’s pimple thing. the other doctor examined the pimple and gave this stern nod to koda’s doctor.

it turns out that, the little pimple thing is koda’s biggest problem. it is a Mast Cell Tumor… and it had to be taken out immediately.

i was taken aback. it took me about 15 minutes to register, and after that the doctor had to hand me tissues because i was weeping. and i couldn’t stop crying even after i got home and dropped koda off. and during the bus trip on my way to pick up aina. and when ari got home… even as i wrote this, i just kept crying.

my koda has cancer? why? I’ve always thought she was a relatively healthy dog. i often told ari that i wish koda could live forever, because she’s such a perfect dog for me. and these types of news just ruined my wishful thinking.

“According to the Morris Animal Foundation, cancer is a leading cause of death in dogs. When most owners think of cancer, tumors on vital organs or leukemia come to mind. Others think of lymphomas, which are usually first noticed as swelling of all the peripheral or surface lymph nodes. Few consider that the pea-sized nodule on the skin that came up ‘overnight’ could be one of the most serious cancers in canine medicine. However, that is the usual way mast cell tumors are diagnosed.” - via

so you can imagine how sad i was when i heard, “she has an agressive cancer growing in her”. i was soooo scared. i tried not to but i kept imagining that koda was going to suffer. and die.

her surgery had been scheduled for next week. i guess, all we can do is wait until they take out the lump and for the lab to give us the result. meanwhile, i’ll be scouring the internet to find out about this MCT thing…

i’m keeping my fingers crossed.