~ i’m an ass ~
i felt like an ass this morning.
i was on the way to work. as usual, i took the subway. and, as usual, the subway is a little bit crowded, so all the seats were taken. it usually takes me about an hour subway ride to get to work, so i usually try my best to get a seat.
today, i was standing near the door, waiting for someone to get off, so i could rest my legs and butt. after 5 stops, the lady in front of me stood up. so, i quickly moved my butt to that seat.
i saw an old guy with a cane in front of me moving toward the seat, but, of course, he would not be able to get to the seat before me, cause he was a lot slower than me. for goodness sake, he has a walking cane! i knew he was aiming for the same seat, but i thought … well, actually, i didn’t think much.
the woman sitting in front of me gave me a nasty look. she looked at the old man, and said,
“mister, do you want to sit here?” and offered her seat to him.
the old man thank her. and i felt really bad….
the whole thing happened so fast, and i trully didn’t mean to be that selfish. the only thing in my mind was that i wanted to sit down and sleep all the way to work.
i didn’t have enough guts to look at both the woman and the old man. i tried to look busy… scribbled things on my notepad, put a *thinking* look on my face, and tried to convince myself that i wasn’t actually an ass.
i tried to say to myself, that the seat that i’m sitting on does not have the “disabled person” label, unlike the seat that the woman was sitting on has.
but who am i kidding? if i wasn’t so wrong, i wouldn’t feel that bad. i would be able to look at everyone in the train and not feeling guilty. i wouldn’t have to act like i was busy fixing my discman. i wouldn’t have to pretend that i was sleeping while i was actually peeking, trying to see if the woman was looking at me or not…
i was an ass…..